Just Another Day in Carriage driving Paradise...

Nothing terribly exciting has happened lately while carriage driving, well, at least to me, that's why I haven't updated the blog. However, several things have occured worth noting:

Harley the barn dog, who has managed to sneak an entire pizza box out from beneath the drivers seat of a carriage which is no small feat, came up missing last week. Ro came to work on Monday and Harley was nowhere to be found. Marky-Mark and The Fabulous Todd thought they might have seen him on Saturday evening in the company of some teens but were not sure. So while Em was online scouring the "Found" ads I was placing the "Lost" ads and Ro went to the SLC Animal shelter. Then I printed up some "Missing" posters and placed them in strategic locations, along with giving some to our local panhandlers. They walk everywhere downtown and I figured they would be interested in the $50 reward, too.

So Harley wasn't in the shelter on Monday but when Ro went on Wednesday he was there. In fact she said he saw her before she saw him and he started "talking" to her, telling her his sad soulful story while she went and got the dog warden. The people there said that there was no mistaking that he was her dog. Except he's not, he's the barn's dog, but Harley is really all of ours dog, if that makes sense to you. He holds a piece of all of our hearts, except maybe Marky-Marks; after all is was his pizza that Harley stole from under the seat on his carriage. So instead of a piece of Marky's heart Harley's got a piece of Marky's pizza.

Harley probably prefers that anyway.

So during the course of that week I went to Wal-Mart and had an instant tag made for Harley. I used my debit card. So then Ro asked me the other day how much she owed me for the tag and I said "I don't know. I never got a receipt from the machine." and I've looked online at my account and can't find a charge for it.

So, I hope that all those folks who have made tags since last week have not been getting them for "free". Because if I do finally get a bill I hope it isn't $1,478.90 because my debit card has been paying for all of them. But it would be just my luck the way things have been going.

So last week Ralphie managed to rub his headstall off while Em was waiting at the West Temple/North temple light to go in for the night. For you straights that means no steering. No, not no power steering, no freaking steering at all!!! The handlebars on your bike? GONE. Now, in a car you can step on the brake and you stop. Our vehicles have their own brain, so Ralphie decided to go sightseeing. Pulling on the lines to get Ralphie to brake does nothing, because his headstall and bit to which the lines are attached are hanging useless on his chest.

First he made a left onto North Temple, which was okay except he was heading west in the eastbound lanes. And that too wasn't a huge problem because it was 11 pm so there wasn't a lot of traffic. The driver who was out with Em is not the sharpest tool, so Ro dispatched Dennis to head Em and Ralphie off, but Dennis was at the Hilton, which is a good 4 blocks away.

Now, Ralphie wasn't panicked, he was just be-bopping around, taking advantage of his freedom and having a good look at stuff. He made a left onto 200 West, and Em was able to get the attention of a large man walking down the sidewalk. Large man is good, as Ralphie is a Clydesdale who, when standing, has legs longer than I am tall. His legbone ties into his hip about 3 inches above my head. Somewhere I have a picture. Anyway, large man is good, so Em got him to step in front of Ralphie and she said "Grab the red thing!" and motioned with her hands that he was to grab Ralphie's halter. So he grabbed with one hand and Ralphie lifted him off his feet and kept walking, dragging large man right along with, when finally large man got both hands on the halter and ground Ralphie to a halt.

Em jumped down, secured Ralphie with a lead line, and hugged large man, offering him a carriage gift certificate for his heroism.

He had never seen a real horse before. He hasn't come by to collect his free ride yet, either.

Go figure.

And finally I worked with MBA on Monday night and as we were going in she asked me if I had ever experienced the "Carrot Sniper."

Huh?

Apparently it's a man who runs up to your horse and shoves a carrot in his mouth and runs away, which sounds a little like Bill but he'd stay and chat for a while so I know it's not him. I just get drunken horse whisperers who try to make out with your horse and want you to watch.

Well, I've never experienced this person, so she tells me that earlier, in a manner similar to the carrot sniper, a man ran up to her and started applying acupressure to her neck and shoulders.

WTF?

She said he told her he's an acupressureist who drives a shuttle bus part time and she looked like she was tense and needed some acupressure.

I think he just wanted to grope her. And if he'd tried that on me he's be driving a shuttle bus lefty for a while, because he's be wearing his right arm as a hat. Acupressure? Meet violent contortion. Have you ever seen someone tie your arm in a square knot… don't mind that noise, it's just snaps of joy.

So, as you can see, nothing new or exciting to report. Just the same old routine