Thursday, February 19, 2009

All in a Nights Work

Sorry, constant readers, not much to blog about this week. I've been busy with the usual crap, writing, sleeping, doing the things one has to do to maintain their day to day stuff. On the upside, I am working tonight. It was supposed to be me and The Fabulous Todd, but he has a standing appointment with his personal trainer, so he bagged last week. I do however get to work with Marky-Mark.

You remember Marky-Mark, right? If not here is a visual.




I imagine that neither Marky-Mark or Rex will be wearing the Santa hats. However, Marky-Mark does require his equine co-worker to wear some kind of chapeau. The choice waffles between a Cowboy hat that looks like he stole it from a drunk chick at a Kenny Chesney concert, or a black faux-leather number that would have made Freddy Mercury weep with envy. One day Marky-Mark will amass a collection rivaled only by The Village People. I imagine that a warrior feather bonnet will be his next acquisition in his collection of prĂȘt-a-porter. But that’s okay with me, because we all have an angle, and Marky-Mark snags all the customers with young children. I appreciate that, because hauling around a carriage with screaming, sticky children whipped into a Mountain-Dew sugar and caffeine induced frenzy is not my idea of a pleasant evening. I'll take a carriage full of drunks any day. They're less annoying and tip so much better.

And besides I haven't seen Marky-Mark since Christmas.

There is also a newbie working with us tonight, which is always fun. Last time I worked with him I was at the top of the "Most Hated Carriage Driver" list because I kept snagging rides and, well, he didn't.

Oh well. If this job was easy, everybody would be doing it.

8 comments:

Sagebrusheq said...

I'll be passing through SL in a week or so and thought about going for a spin around the block. Do you guys still hang out on South Temple? When are the best times? Do you let your horses have treats when they are bitted up?

Slave Driver said...

We work Monday through Saturday. Okay, "Work" is a purely subjective term...mostly we goof off, but we goof off between the hours of 6-11 weekdays and 6-Midnight Fri and Sat. Unless the weathers bad, you know , hurricane bad not just a little snow. And yes, the South Gates of Temple Square. The best time is after Construction O'Clock (about 7)
Let me know what day you are interested and maybe I'll sign up to work. This time of year I'm usually not on a regular schedule.

Re: Treats...Unfortunatly no, when working they only get the occasional Starburst fruit chew, we save the good stuff for later.
The horses favorite treat is a Filet Mignon dinner from LaCaille. Just get it to go. Your courteous driver will "save" it for your horse under the box. And if you see them pulling it out from under the box just as you round the corner they are just making sure it's still safe.

And I told Buzz you said "Hi." He was flattered. Then he demanded to know what lies I was writing about him and threatened to sue me (Just kidding)

Christina said...

"Oh well. If this job was easy, everybody would be doing it."

Indeed. I think all those crazy animal rights activist horsey girls are just jealous that I'm the one who gets to spend every moment of my working life with a horse--and I get paid to do so.

Ha ha!

And for those who wonder what my $100K undergraduate education and $80K graduate education are going towards... remember, my mom always told me I could be anthing I wanted to be. So I became a carriage driver!

Belle's personal assistant said...

You are so mean SD. One of Mikey and Red's favorite treats was a breath strip placed on the gums. Jim likes cherries. He will spit the pits at the driver, though, so its not good on white shirts. Red also enjoyed eating the tobacco out of cigarettes. Poncho, one of the saddle horses had a thing for grapes. Mikey and Red were also known for their love of hamburgers.

Horses also love to pull up to the curbside delivery of the local seafood place. The chowder is excellent.


Redbo -- The censored version of Redbox

ddusty said...

Even when there's "nothing happening" there's something amusing to say if you carry a sense of humor in your heart. Me, I've never carried a sense of humor in my heart, but do keep a sense of hearing in both ears, and used to carry a hamster in my shirt pocket. Never thought to give her gummiworms. Or a hat. Hat. So I guess the horses have a sense of humor, too. Or no sense of shame? How long before they unionize and demand carrot breaks every two blocks?

Forthily--the opposite of backily

Slave Driver said...

BPA,
you say I', mean, but last night Charlie Horse and I shared some roasted/salted Almonds and he got halk of my Special K cereal bar. Then carrots when we returned to the barn.

I know for a fact that Ace likes to chew gum. Wease used to give it to him along with the Lysterine breath strips. Jason gave him a bananna once.

I never give them anything big when they have their headstall on because its difficult for them to eat it around the bit, and half of it goes on the ground and then you have a horse playing "Hoover" on the street and God knows what they'll pick up there at South Gates.

Last fall when I was driving Charlie through the Grove he managed to snag a large leaf filled brand and carry it along in his mouth until I noticed and removed it. It was as long as my arm. I'm not sure if he wanted to eat it or play fetch.

Last evening he also managed to grab a mouthful of pinon pine in front of the Radisson. The rest of the night his breath smelled like he's eaten a car freshener.

Vhristina,
Salt Lake, for whatever reason, frequently plays host to numerous "Multi Level Marketing" conventions. I cannot tell you the number of times I have been offered to join them and sell Tahitian Noni, or products from Usuana. I always tell people that I have two of the best jobs in the world, Carriage Driver and writer.

I don't make all that much money at either, (none so far in fact for the writing) but thats why I have a husband (grin)

Dusty,
Is that a Hamster in your pocket or are you just happy to see me? And Marky-Mark woud find a way of putting a hat on it. Probably involving craft wire and super glue.


Hourt: a snobby way of saying hour, like Tow-Mah-tow and Spoilt.

Slave Driver said...

I apologize for the typos I am a little tired still.

Sagebrusheq said...

Undetermined as yet, but I'll post here and let you know if I get a clearer idea of when I'll be in SLC.

On treats, I have a mare who is partial to Jolly Ranchers- only the apple flavored though.