Wrestling With Pigs and MIRL

The pig I am currently wrestling with is, of course, my novel.

Oh, not the content. That's done. I think I've even gotten most of the typos, punctuation errors, grammar boogers and formatting issues within the document fixed, because that's how good I am I have some fabulous friends willing to read my book yet another time and point out all the stuff I have messed up. The "pig" part is uploading it to Create Space and then having the automatic review wizard inform me that, once again, it won't fit within the margins established by the template. Even though I have diligently (and I rarely do anything with any sort of diligence; usually the most you can hope for from me is a half-assed attempt at making something look like I meticulously followed the directions when in fact I've really been watching cartoons in my head the entire time) followed the formatting directions and used the template so it would all fit within the accepted parameters.

Nope. Just not doing it.

Part of the problem might be due to me adding stuff. Not to the story: I've cut close to 5000 words since I began the self publishing journey back in February. No, I've decided to add the first chapter of the sequel to the end as a teaser. So that added another eleven or so pages, which apparently makes a big difference, according to the Create Space Wizard. And quite frankly I'm getting a little tired of this wizard being all bossy and shit. I'm not a Druid, enrolled  at Hogworts, or a member of the Klan. I should not have to take orders from some snarky, know-it-all Wizard.

Anyway, I'll work it out. Maybe. I can sometimes manage to beat stuff into submission.

The MIRL part of today's title has to do with a stalker fellow Blogger. Most of the folks who have been stopping by my blog for years don't interact with me (I'm looking at you, Cambridge, Massachusetts). Once in a while some of  you people even post comments. Occasionally you people even use a name other than "Anonymous". "Dreaming"  is one of those people, and a few weeks ago Dreaming and Mr. Dreaming visited Utah. I, being the tour guide that I am, left suggestions of stuff they could do while in town. One of the things they decided to do was take a carriage ride around Temple Square with me and Charlie horse. We had a great time, and it was fun to Meet In Real Life. The only other Confessions Blog reader I've met in person has been Mackenzie, and she ended up coming to work for us. I don't think Dreaming is going to give up her awesome home and move to Utah, but she's welcome to visit any time. 

You should stop by her blog. She has a beautiful Aussie named Tucker she recently tortured by sending him to the groomer. I think he looks fabulous, but I know my dear departed Border collie, Cowboy, would have felt the same way if we ever did something as foofy as sending him to the groomer. Like formatting for Create Space, wrestling all that unruly hair into submission is not for the faint of heart.