Showing posts with label If Wishes Were Horses Beggars Would Ride. Show all posts
Showing posts with label If Wishes Were Horses Beggars Would Ride. Show all posts

Thursday, November 4, 2010

New Listing:

I have all this irrelevant stuff I'm doing over here;

Getting ready for the upcoming Christmas Carriage Driving Season ( I need to find the rest of my winter gear)

Writing and addressing my Christmas cards (I won't have any time after November 25)

Shopping for Christmas gifts (see previous statement)

Cleaning my house (both my mother and my brother are coming to visit. The level of chaos and clutter shame me. We're used to it, others, not so much. So I clean)

One of the things I've been contemplating is getting rid of some stuff. Not junk, mind you. And not crap I want to donate to the D.I. or Salvation Army. I'm talking good stuff that I just don’t do anything with any more. Stuff that I love, or that I use, just not so much. Could I live without it? Yeah. I just drag my feet about the actual getting rid of part. I used to sell a lot of stuff on ebay, but now I'm too lazy to deal with the mailing of it so I put stuff on KSL.com to sell locally then I don't have to mess with the shipping.

For example, in my garage I have a thing called a Hit-Away. I'm thinking of selling it. It's basically a softball on a string attached to a pole. You whack it and it winds around a pole, then as it unwinds you whack it again. It's for people to practice their batting skills with. Hand/eye coordination. But I’ll tell you what it's really good for: bashing the shit out of something without getting arrested. That's right. Have a fight with your kid? Don't pull a "Facebook Mom" stunt and shake them to death. Go out to your Hit-Away and crack the crap outta that softball with that Louisville Slugger until you feel all that pent up rage Melt-Away.

You know, maybe I'll wait a bit on selling the Hit-Away. At least until after Christmas. Or maybe when The Kid goes away to college.

Anyway, one of the things I'm contemplating selling is the best gift ever. It's one I gave mind you, not one that I got. But I love it just the same. And I would have killed to have this when I was a child. We had to use carboard boxes to make our "stables".




Available for immediate occupancy; spacious two stall barn on acreage only limited by your imagination. Comes complete with hay storage up top, wall to wall shavings, and sliding doors front and back. Exterior features full fencing, jump standards, and cavaletti. Also included are appliances such as grass cutters and hedge trimmers. Methane gas heat. Border Collie security comes standard. Owner willing to include some amenities such as bagged corn and oats, and tack trunk. Don’t miss out on a fantastic starter barn.













(No, I did not put Wednesday the cat in the barn. I was taking the photos and she climbed in it herself. Distracting in a Catzilla kind of way? Yes, but it does give an idea as to the scale.

And trust me, if I had the time, and someone else willing to play "Breyer Horses" with me, I probably wouldn't get rid of this either.

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Name That Ass

I promised you a contest, and I'm delivering…

This contest idea came to me as a result of 1) being bored, 2) having nothing to look at but a big, hairy ass, and 3) noticing that Tony's tail dock resembled a heart (hint hint...) Upon checking a random sample of our other horses, I noticed several had very distinct tails. Now some of these will be easy peasey, especially for our employees. But the rest of you have a fighting chance of matching the name to the butt.

I've posted tons of pictures over the last three years, plus descriptions of some of our horses. So your job, if you choose to accept it, it to match the name with the horse's ass.

I've simplified it a bit; after all we have five blacks and five Belgians, so I'm keeping the numbers down by only including the horses that you, if you've been a regular reader and paid attention, should be able to identify.

Like I said, there are no prizes, just glory. You can either put your guess in the comments or email me at slcslavedriver@gmail.com.

Good luck. Have fun! See how your ass knowledge compares with those of others…



#1

#2

#3

#4

#5

#6

#7

The above butts belong to the following horses, in no particular order:

Tony, Cisco, Charlie, Rex, Jerry, Bart, and Cleatus