Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Taking a walk around the blog

My Blogspot page has a little thingy in the upper left hand corner. By pushing in the “Next Blog” button I can visit the next blog in line. Since Bob Mayer hadn’t written anything yet I decided to take a walk around the blog spot. Wanna come with? (I know that’s bad grammar, but that’s how they speak here and you get used to it, okay?)

So we have about 45,000 blogs about people’s families. Pictures from taking the kids to the zoo. Pictures of pets and children. Pet pictures are okay, but I really don’t want to see pictures of someone’s kids. Kids are boring. They make noise, messes and smell like fruit loops and over rip bananas. I usually find them annoying. And sticky. Pet pictures? I’m all over that. So I skip around until I find pictures of pets. Those I like. Dogs, mostly. Cats are kind of bleh. Cats, to me, are a lot like kids but they smell better and are less annoying. And if they get on my nerves I can put them outside, lock the door and no one will call the cops on me, ya’ know?

I did, by the way, have two cats in my life, both at the same time. One was our barn cat that The Husband named “Tiggrrr”, due to his orange striping. Tiggrrr came to us in the usual manner that cats do when you live on a farm, he was a “gift,” since all farms with horse stables need barn cats. Apparently to piss all over your hay and tack and make it smell nasty. But then we had Tiggrrr neutered and he was a most excellent cat after that. When we’d ride the horses out in the pasture he kept up with us better then the dogs did.

We got “Sparkles the Wonder Cat” when I was working for a farmer feeding his cattle because he had a hole in his foot. It’s a long story. But I retrieved Sparkles when he was just an itty bitty thing because the farmer and his son decided that 28 cats on his farm were a little much. Not being the type of guy to gift his kitties he and his son took a .357 magnum to the lot and when I returned to work the day after the shooting spree (for they waited until my day off) I found Sparkles hiding under the wood burning stove in the tool shed and took him home.

We also had a dog named Bandit. Bandit was a cross between a German Shepherd (one of the smartest breeds) and an Afghan Hound (dead last on the dog IQ scale, barely above hamster.) He was a very sweet boy, beautiful and loving but it was a lot like having a 75 pound cat. He made the mistake of browsing in our mare’s stall one evening when she returned for dinner. She picked him up by the back of his neck and tossed him into the barn aisle, with the same casualness as one would toss out a used Kleenex. Sparkles the wonder cat usually beat him up. And our crippled rooster, Foghorn, would jump the line at meal time and eat his fill of dog food before he would allow Bandit to have his share. But, Bandit was good natured about it all. He didn’t seem to know he was as dumb as a box of rocks.

Ah, good times.

Anyway, blogs…So a couple about quilts; Some about knitting; A whole bunch in languages I don’t speak or understand; Here are some about politics and religion, both of which I care to discuss even less then I want to talk about other peoples kids, if you can believe that. Okay, then. Pictures of a nice couple of newlyweds. He’s cute, any naked or near naked ones of him? Nope? Well, we’ll just keep rolling right along.

Here’s a weird one, kind of cute in a strange way, all about Marshmallow Peeps. They’re really good roasted cause you can get the sugar to caramelize if you roast them slowly (“Hello Clairice. I ate my peep with some Fava beans and a nice Chianti.”) And another interesting one from a guy in India but this one is written in English so I can understand it (YAY!) Some idiot Carriage driver from ..oh, wait, thats me. And one that’s about a dog written as if it is by the dog…Here’s photos of a metal box a guy built, more pictures of kids at the zoo…People, for Godfrey’s sake take your kids someplace other than the ZOO! Mountain climbing is an option. And really, when was the last time the entire family enjoyed a good old fashioned Rattlesnake Roundup? Huh? Be a little more imaginative! Jeesh.

Oh, hey, I have to go, Bob finally wrote his blog. You could go read it too.

When you’re done I’ll meet you at the zoo. Bring your kids and a camera. We’ll try something I saw in a cartoon once. We just need a Coyote and a Roadrunner. And a 2000 pound weight from the Acme One Ton Weight Company.

No comments: