Top Ten Reasons Why I Love Driving Proposals...

I don't want to be a hater. My last two posts were a little negative, but that's just because, well, you get the picture. So, here is my positive post, written from my happy place.

(By the way, in my "Happy Place" the wine is always chilled to perfection and there's lots of it. Your "Happy Place" may vary.)

The top ten reasons why I love driving proposals:

10 Proposals are almost always fast.

9 I used to sell Jewelry, and I'm one of the first people to see the ring.

8 I am a witness to an event the rest of the family/friends don't get to see and the other two people involved will always remember. Fondly, I hope.

7 I have never had a "no".

6 95% of the time you get a tip.

5 Some of them are very involved, creative, and well planned.

4 They are never late.

3 We do a lot of them in Memory Grove which is a beautiful ride.

2 It's amusing to watch the guys hyperventilating.

And the #1 reason I love driving proposals:

No one ever displays their show of affection using sparklers.

I have my proposals (yes, that's what they are…they happen in my carriage so they belong to me) run the gamut from simple:

Young man in a military uniform drops to his knee right in front of me and the girlfriend before getting on the carriage and proposes. He jumped the gun on that one in the respect that he should have waited until he was actually on the carriage, but since she was seven months pregnant I guess it all evens out in the wash.

To the not quite spur of the moment (he did after all have a ring):

I picked up a couple from the Little America. He is toting a guitar. He sings a song he wrote to his intended, and then produced a ring.

I picked up a girl and her soon-to-be mother-in-law from the Joseph Smith Building. Just when you think the S-T-B M-I-L is going to climb on the carriage she produces, out of a huge tote bag, a laptop, already booted up, and sits it on the seat opposite the girl. Pressing "play" the laptop runs a power point program complete with music, photos, video and voice over narrative, as slick as a campaign commercial. The boyfriend had produced masterpiece montage of their relationship up to this point, emphasizing the reason why the girl should say "yes" to what he is about to ask. By the time we reach Memory Grove, where the Proposer has arranged a beautiful picnic, the girl is bawling and my horse, Tony, and I are getting close to doing the same.

Then you get proposals that are so intensely involved that it takes a tribe of co conspirators to pull the whole deal off.

One night I arrived at work and was given a map. This map was a rendition of Temple Square, with seven spots marked with an "X".

I picked up six women at The Lion House (start "X").

Just down the street in front of The Joseph Smith memorial Building is "X" number two. One of the women in the carriage says, "Oh look, there's my Prince." A man walks up, helps his wife off of the carriage, and hands The Intended two red roses.

We drive up to South Gate, "X" number two. Another woman says, "Look, there's my Prince." A man walks up to the carriage, helps his wife to disembark, and hands The Intended two red roses.

The ride proceeds in this manner until the only two people left in the carriage are The Intended and I. I'm driving and she is holding 10 red roses. By this point it is obvious that something is in the works, and because part of my job when driving proposals is NOT to blow the surprise, we make small talk. Luckily for me, our talk focuses on a pickup truck that has passed us not once but twice. It's full of furniture and it's apparent that someone is moving. However, lacking tie down straps or bungee cords, a very nice looking and well built shirtless young man has sprawled himself across the items to keep them in the bed of the truck. He is yummy looking, and we are enjoying the view. A lot.

Rawr.

I finally arrive at the final "X" on State Street, which has a beautiful view of the O.C. Tanner Fountain and the Temple. I was told that the Proposer was going to jump on the carriage at that point and I would drive them to South Gate while he does the deed. Instead, he gives his intended two red roses, and whisks her off of the carriage, and they proceed to walk down State Street, out of sight. I assume to propose, because he didn't do it in front of me.

I was actually really disappointed with that one, only because I felt so cheated. All that foreplay, and no climax.

Bummer.